Five Leadership Gifts from 2011

Photo by Mrskyce

In the spirit of the season, here are five posts from 2011 which I believe you will find helpful.

1. Prepare Today

This powerful guest post from Wally Bock is poignant on two different levels. First, it is a guest post for leadership blogger Dan Rockwell who recently suffered a terrible accident and now faces a lengthy recovery. Second, it features the story of Bishop Hanns Lilje, a man imprisoned in World War II Nazi prison camps. He is quoted in the post: "“When they knock on your door, it’s too late to prepare.”

2. Our Deepest Craving

I frequently write about how important it is for leaders to demonstrate gratitude and appreciation. Kevin Eikenberry offers a strong message in this vein, beginning with a quote from William James: "The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated."

3. Ten Time Management Tips

This post from Gayle Thorson is oriented toward busy nonprofit communicators, but the advice is straightforward and helpful for any developing leader.

4. The Top Ten Lies Leaders Believe

Earlier in the year before his injury, Dan Rockwell posted this excellent list of traps leaders can easily fall into.

5. The Science of Creating the Perfect Mentor: An 8-Step Process

Scott Dinsmore of Live Your Legend emphasizes the importance of mentors in your leadership journey. I appreciate this post because it reinforces how to find the right people to help you and how you can care for them in turn.

I hope you enjoy these posts and benefit from them as much as I have!

Take care,

David M. Dye

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David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

Book Review: Mandela's Way

Today's book review is Mandela's Way: Fifteen Lessons on Life, Love, and Courage written by Richard Stengel.

In his introductory remarks, Stengel refers to Nelson Mandela as possibly the "last pure hero on the planet". Despite the laudatory remarks, one of the best things about this book is the it takes a realistic look at such a hero. 

There is no doubt that Mandela is an amazing human being who has helped his country and the world as a whole. Even so, Stengel does not shy away from showing Nelson's humanity. The hero of this book is not a picture-perfect cutout, but a human being who has suffered and learned so much - yet remains human in ways every reader can relate to.

For those who are beginning their leadership journey this book is an encouraging read. Nelson's leadership strengths are described in ways that make them accessible to newer leaders, but the depth of suffering and pain that forged the leader he became is also clear. 

Nelson's journey is relevant to everyone who wants to make the world a better place, even if the reader will not spend thirty years in prison for her ideals.

In his own preface to the book, Mandela talks of ubuntu, the African notion that "we are human only through the humanity of others." This profound humility is much of what makes Mandela an effective leader and also Mandela's Way a strongly suggested read for aspiring leaders.

Happy Reading,

David M. Dye

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David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

Are You Too Nice?

Photo by Armando Maynez

Mean or Strict?

When I taught high school students, periodically a student would tell me: "Mister, you're mean."

I often replied: "I'm not mean. I'm strict. I care about you too much to let you [fill in the blank]."

Real Caring

I believe effective leaders care for the people they lead.

However, it is easy to confuse caring with being pleasant. They are not the same thing. As with those students who interpreted guidance I knew to be in their best interest as "mean", you may encounter an inner voice (or even a team member's voice) that tells you you're not being nice when you act in the best interests of another person.

Truly caring for another person will at times mean saying something that is unpleasant for them to hear and which you don't particularly enjoy saying.

You can say it firmly, you can say it kindly, you can maintain your respect for the other person, and you can reinforce their dignity. All these are desirable. Nonetheless, it may not feel nice or agreeable.

And yet, providing this feedback and helping a team member understand the negative consequences of their actions may be the most caring thing you ever do for some people. It gives them a chance to grow and experience more of life.

Are You Too Nice?

If being agreeable and getting along with your team is preventing you from addressing uncomfortable subjects, the answer is yes.

You are preventing your team members from growing and you are reducing your credibility with your team.

It's Time

It's time to begin caring for your team. Pick one issue you know needs to be addressed...you might start by clarifying your own expectations with your team. Or it might be time to address the destructive behavior everyone knows about, but no one mentions.

If you need to practice, find a colleague and role play. If you can't find someone, contact me and I'll help.

Get started today. Your team needs you to care.

Read More:

• Why Great Leaders Know How to Say Goodbye
• Is the Golden Rule Wrong?
• The Only Way Out
• Book Review: Crucial Conversations
• Do You Commit These 5 Management Mistakes?

Take care,

David M. Dye

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David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

Is the Golden Rule Wrong?

Photo by earsaregood

The Golden Rule

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

In one form or another, you've probably learned this ancient wisdom and its call to treat others with value, dignity, respect, and compassion.

That's good stuff...and good so far as it goes.

Leaders Need More

And yet...leaders who follow the golden rule can find themselves with unproductive and unmotivated teams.

What's going on here? How can you treat people with respect and dignity and still have problems?

Effective leaders and managers understand that people have individual personalities. You meet people where they are and provide them what they need to be effective.

Examples:

If you are an introvert, content to be left alone and focus on your projects and you try to "do unto others as you would have done to you", you will find your extroverted team members wondering why you don't care.

If you enjoy the big picture and love ideas, your team members who need to understand details will quickly feel lost if you only give them the big picture you need.

If you prefer an especially indirect and tactful style of communication when others talk with you, your team members who need things said directly in plain language will wonder why you won't just say what's on your mind.

You get the idea - what works for us doesn't always work for others.

A New Rule

The Golden Rule isn't wrong - it serves an important role in helping us grow out of childish selfishness.

But effective leaders don't stop there. If you want your team members to be effective, you will:

Give them what they need, not what works for you.

Read More:

• Motivation: When Common Sense is Wrong
• You Don't Have to Be a Genius to Motivate Others
• Are You Throwing Away Influence?
• Stop Leading In Circles
• Do You Commit These 5 Management Mistakes?
• Book Review: The World's Most Powerful Leadership Principle

Take care,

David M. Dye

Know someone who would benefit from this post or the entire blog?
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Subscribe today or join the discussion at: http://davidmdye.blogspot.com/
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David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

Book Review: Management Mess-Ups

What Not to Do

Sometimes it's fun to define things by their negative...if you're not quite sure what you DO want, at least you can start with what you DON'T want.

I have taken this approach myself with a high-level look at management practices.

The subject of today's book review is the crown jewel of this strategy: Management Mess-Ups - 57 Pitfalls You Can Avoid (and Stories of Those Who Didn't) by Mark Eppler.

This is a great read for growing managers. Eppler provides an exhaustive list of essential management practices and real-world illustrations in a format that is easy to read and understand.

The 57 Pitfalls in Management Mess-Ups are organized into 13 sections including categories such as: Leadership, Communication, Motivation, Managing Change, Personal Development and, finally, "The Big One". More on this at the end the post.

Examples of specific pitfalls included in the list:

• Believing leadership is power instead of influence.
• Not meeting routinely with customers.
• Believing people will keep planting seeds if they don't participate in the harvest.
• Failing to manage conflict constructively.

The Big One

Eppler concludes Management Mess-Ups with a pitfall that garners its own section titled "The Big One". This management and leadership mess-up definitely deserves its own section and is particularly relevant for readers of this blog:

Failure to practice in reality what you learn in theory.

Final Thoughts

There is one danger in sources that tell us what to avoid - we can become so focused on avoiding trouble that we lose our focus on what we should be doing. (See I Looked for the Dry Places for more on this.) Management Mess-Ups is not one of these. Every mess-up is clearly related to what you DO want to do.

I strongly recommend Management Mess-Ups for any growing manager. It's fun and you'll recognize yourself in at least one or two stories.

Happy Reading,

David M. Dye

Know someone who would benefit from this post or the entire blog?
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David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

Motivation: When Common Sense is Wrong

Photo by Wally Gobetz

Leadership Lyrics?

Don't look back / A new day is breakin'

Even if you've never heard Boston's classic rock lyrics, you're probably familiar with the popular advice: "Don't look back". Advocates of the "don't look back" philosophy will tell you to keep your eye on the vision, always look forward, forget about the past, etc. etc.

There are times where this is good advice, but...

On the Mountain

I live in the State of Colorado, right on the doorstep of the beautiful Rocky Mountains. I love hiking our majestic peaks, but I'm a big guy and some of these mountains are a real challenge.

Near the top where the air is thin, it might take me an hour or more to cover a mile. At times, everything in me says to give up, to go home...that I made it far enough. But I've found a secret that keeps me going. It's simple and powerful and you can do it.

Turn around and look down the mountain.

The power of the view beneath me is that it shows me what I've done...what I've already proven capable of. If I can get that far...certainly I can make it a little farther!

Sometimes, looking back is exactly what you need to do.

The Power of Looking Back

When you encounter frustrations and periods where you are overwhelmed - those times when you doubt if you'll ever accomplish your vision, I suggest you turn around.

Take some time to look at where you've been - what you have done, how you have grown, positive decisions you've made, and what you have learned.

If you've come this far, I know you can go a little farther.

Moving On

You're not looking back to linger in the past. 

You're looking back to take note of your own strength...to stand a little straighter...to be reminded that you've overcome obstacles.

With this fresh perspective you can look to the future and take one small step.

One step. That's all. So small you can't possibly fail to take it...

Then one more.

Take care,

David M. Dye

If You Would Like to Read More:

You Don't Have to Be a Genius to Motivate Others

Succeed With Your Critics

The Only Way to Grow

One Word to Freedom

Get Out of Your Way

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David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

Are You Choosing Your Problems?

Photo by Kyle Johnston

Good News & Bad News

You have problems.

You are going to have more problems.

Solving today's problems allows you to tackle a whole new set of problems tomorrow.

Problems & Leadership

Problems, challenges, difficulties, struggles - whatever you call them, problems are not unique to leaders. Problems are part of living. If you are alive, you will have problems.

Leaders just choose a particular set of problems.

Choose Your Problems

You do not get to choose IF you will have problems.

But often, you do get to choose WHICH set of problems you will have.

Effective leaders don't spend time trying to avoid problems. Rather, they put their energy into working on the right set of problems. 

Which set of problems are the right ones? That depends on your values, vision, and goals. What are you trying to do? Which set of problems, once solved, will get you closer to where you want to be?

How It Works

Here's a sample we're all familiar with: We can choose a set of problems related to exercise - finding time, dealing with discomfort, etc. Or we can choose a set of problems related to carrying extra pounds and lack of strength.

Now for a leadership example: You have a team member who consistently under-performs and others team members are carrying extra responsibility. 

You've got a choice of problems: You can choose problems related to ignoring the situation - your team is stressed, the individual never improves their abilities, and your leadership credibility declines. 

Or you can choose problems related to addressing the situation - learning how to have performance conversations, being disliked or misjudged, and the discomfort of confrontation.

Each set of problems leads to different outcomes. Which do you want?

Freedom

There is great freedom when you realize that problems are unavoidable and begin choosing which ones you will have. No longer is your energy wasted in the hopeless effort of avoidance.

You will even find yourself energized as you live in alignment with your own values, vision, and goals.

Read More:

The Only Way Out
Lead from the In-Between
One Word to Freedom
Book Review: The Oz Principle
Book Review: The Question Behind the Question

Take care,

David M. Dye

Know someone who would benefit from this post or the entire blog?
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Subscribe today or join the discussion at: http://davidmdye.blogspot.com/
Twitter: @davidmdye
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David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.