Is the Golden Rule Wrong?

Photo by earsaregood

The Golden Rule

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

In one form or another, you've probably learned this ancient wisdom and its call to treat others with value, dignity, respect, and compassion.

That's good stuff...and good so far as it goes.

Leaders Need More

And yet...leaders who follow the golden rule can find themselves with unproductive and unmotivated teams.

What's going on here? How can you treat people with respect and dignity and still have problems?

Effective leaders and managers understand that people have individual personalities. You meet people where they are and provide them what they need to be effective.

Examples:

If you are an introvert, content to be left alone and focus on your projects and you try to "do unto others as you would have done to you", you will find your extroverted team members wondering why you don't care.

If you enjoy the big picture and love ideas, your team members who need to understand details will quickly feel lost if you only give them the big picture you need.

If you prefer an especially indirect and tactful style of communication when others talk with you, your team members who need things said directly in plain language will wonder why you won't just say what's on your mind.

You get the idea - what works for us doesn't always work for others.

A New Rule

The Golden Rule isn't wrong - it serves an important role in helping us grow out of childish selfishness.

But effective leaders don't stop there. If you want your team members to be effective, you will:

Give them what they need, not what works for you.

Read More:

• Motivation: When Common Sense is Wrong
• You Don't Have to Be a Genius to Motivate Others
• Are You Throwing Away Influence?
• Stop Leading In Circles
• Do You Commit These 5 Management Mistakes?
• Book Review: The World's Most Powerful Leadership Principle

Take care,

David M. Dye

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****
David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

Motivation: When Common Sense is Wrong

Photo by Wally Gobetz

Leadership Lyrics?

Don't look back / A new day is breakin'

Even if you've never heard Boston's classic rock lyrics, you're probably familiar with the popular advice: "Don't look back". Advocates of the "don't look back" philosophy will tell you to keep your eye on the vision, always look forward, forget about the past, etc. etc.

There are times where this is good advice, but...

On the Mountain

I live in the State of Colorado, right on the doorstep of the beautiful Rocky Mountains. I love hiking our majestic peaks, but I'm a big guy and some of these mountains are a real challenge.

Near the top where the air is thin, it might take me an hour or more to cover a mile. At times, everything in me says to give up, to go home...that I made it far enough. But I've found a secret that keeps me going. It's simple and powerful and you can do it.

Turn around and look down the mountain.

The power of the view beneath me is that it shows me what I've done...what I've already proven capable of. If I can get that far...certainly I can make it a little farther!

Sometimes, looking back is exactly what you need to do.

The Power of Looking Back

When you encounter frustrations and periods where you are overwhelmed - those times when you doubt if you'll ever accomplish your vision, I suggest you turn around.

Take some time to look at where you've been - what you have done, how you have grown, positive decisions you've made, and what you have learned.

If you've come this far, I know you can go a little farther.

Moving On

You're not looking back to linger in the past. 

You're looking back to take note of your own strength...to stand a little straighter...to be reminded that you've overcome obstacles.

With this fresh perspective you can look to the future and take one small step.

One step. That's all. So small you can't possibly fail to take it...

Then one more.

Take care,

David M. Dye

If You Would Like to Read More:

You Don't Have to Be a Genius to Motivate Others

Succeed With Your Critics

The Only Way to Grow

One Word to Freedom

Get Out of Your Way

Know someone who would benefit from this post or the entire blog?
Please retweet, like, share, +1, or email it on. Thanks!

Subscribe today or join the discussion at: http://davidmdye.blogspot.com/
Twitter: @davidmdye
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****
David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

A $15 Mistake Worth a Fortune

Photo by A. MacRae

When I was sixteen I learned a vital management lesson.

I was working graveyard shifts at a gas station. Early one night a group of boys bought a couple dollars of merchandise and paid with a twenty dollar bill.

Two minutes later, a paramedic came in to pay for his gas and informed me that the same boys were outside celebrating their good fortune. It seemed that a dumb clerk (me!) had given then change for a $20 when they had only paid with a $5.

I recorded the error and, in the morning when the store manager came in, I reported my mistake. Sure enough, I was missing $15.00. Although this was my largest error, I had been short several times before.

Then my manager did an interesting thing. He took me to his office, had me sit down, and said something I've never forgotten:

"You're a bright kid and I know you can handle what I'm about to tell you...When an employee isn't doing something, there's one of two reasons. It's either will or skill. Either they don't want to do it, or they don't know how." He let that hang in the air a moment, and then asked which I thought applied to my situation.

I was never more than a few pennies off from then on. For me, it wasn't about the skill to make change accurately, but it was a matter of being motivated enough to pay attention to what I was doing.

Effective managers believe in their staff and understand that their team members require both will and skill.

Will is a matter of motivation, environment, and desire. Skill is the practical ability, training, and resources to do something.

However, emerging managers (and many a frustrated veteran) often address the wrong issue when trying to help their employees. Providing training when a person lacks motivation won't help. Creative incentives or consequences when the real problem is a lack of resources or training won't help.

Next time a team member is struggling, take time to analyze the situation. Is it will or is it skill?

If you want to learn more, I encourage you to look at Influencer for a thorough approach to will and skill.

David M. Dye

If you know someone who would benefit from this post or the entire blog, please retweet, like, share, +1, or email it on. Thanks!


Subscribe today or join the discussion at: http://davidmdye.blogspot.com/
Twitter: @davidmdye
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/davidmdye
****
David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

Keep It Flowing

Photo by Catherine V

I am writing this sitting beside a Colorado mountain stream. The air is crisp, the water cold and clear, and morning sun shines through the willow and aspen leaves until they almost glow.

Rivers and streams are something of a minor miracle to me. Perhaps it’s because I’m a native of Colorado, an arid state where water is a precious resource and nearly every stream in the state originates high in the Rocky Mountains. What amazes me is how the water keeps flowing. To look at a river is to see millions of individual drops of water that originated in a cloud, or a melting snowfield, or burbled up from some subterranean spring. And these rains, snowfields, and springs happen out of sight, over and over again in sufficient quantity to fill this river. It’s beautiful…and amazing.

I think of motivation like these mountain streams. Effective leaders and managers maintain a flow of motivation and encouragement throughout their teams. If you’re new to these roles, it can sometimes feel like this job is something only you can do, that you’ve got to provide all the positive energy and motivation for your team. But you don’t. That would be like one rain cloud hovering over this river to keep it full of water.

In a healthy team, motivation and encouragement come from every person being empowered to work from a place of personal vision and energy. Water flows because it’s water…and in healthy teams teachers teach, builders build, gardeners tend and cultivate, writers write, nurses care, chefs cook, pilots fly, and so on. Each person can become a source of motivation and encouragement.

Creating these teams is work – the real work of management. Ensure people are aligned with their vision, that they are not unnecessarily burdened with junk that keeps them from being effective, and equip them with skills to communicate, resolve conflict, and be leaders themselves.

How do you keep motivation flowing?

David M. Dye

If you know someone who would benefit from this post or the entire blog, please retweet, like, share, +1, or email it on. Thanks!

Subscribe today or join the discussion at: http://davidmdye.blogspot.com/
Twitter: @davidmdye
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/davidmdye
****
David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.