Book Review: Crucial Conversations

Today's book review does not feature leadership or management in the title or table of contents. Even so, I personally consider the contents of this book to be among the most critically important skills any leader or manager can learn.

The book is Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, and Switzler. This is one of the few books I would recommend for anyone regardless of career, role, interests, or background.

I will start with my own observations about why this is such an important topic. None of us are born with the knowledge and skill to have meaningful and productive conversations - especially when the subject matter is difficult and emotions run high. The dialog skills we are born with might keep us alive, but they do not help us thrive, grow close with others, and work together to accomplish dreams.

Those skills we must learn. The tough part is that we need to learn them from people who know them and are able to transfer that knowledge to others. The even tougher part is that there just aren't that many of those people around. So many people live in fear that silences their voice or causes them to silence others.

That's where Crucial Conversations comes into play. The book itself defines a crucial conversation as one where opinions vary, the stakes are high, and emotions run strong. If we consider any of the meaningful areas in our life - whether personal or professional, it's easy to see that the most important parts frequently entail these types of conversations. If we are interacting with people and we care, we need these skills.

This book is essentially a how-to manual that helps the reader diagnose conversations that aren't going well, learn the reasons why this happens, and, most importantly, learn the tools of effective dialog. The tools are easily understood and explained with multiple sample conversations. This is material that you can't read just once and master. Each tool takes time to incorporate into our own conversation tool-belts - it takes practice and reflection.

Perhaps the best recommendations I can offer for Crucial Conversations come from some of my co-workers. We give this book to every employee when they join our organization and we frequently discuss the tools. Over the years, several people have approached me to share that this resource has definitely helped them at work, but that it has transformed or saved their marriage.

Finally, I include such a far-reaching book as a leadership / management recommendation because these roles always involve relationships with others. Any leader or manager wishing to be effective will need the ability to have difficult conversations. I know of no better resource to learn these skills.

Happy Reading!

David M. Dye

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David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

Which Problems Do I Want?

Recently, I spoke with the leader of a nonprofit organization who was wrestling with a decision involving one of three difficult choices. He had postponed the decision for an entire year while searching for a problem-free solution. I believe his search was hopeless.

Most of us fall into this trap at some point because we haven't acknowledged an important truth: we are going to have problems. Often our choice is simply this: which set of problems do I want?

We are all familiar with this dynamic. Do we want the inconvenience of regular tooth-brushing, flossing, and dental visits or do we want the inconvenience of tooth decay? We will have inconvenience either way, but we do have a choice about which one we experience.

Leaders and managers frequently face similar situations. Do we want the discomfort of learning how to address poor performance or do we want the discomfort of a team with poor morale and worse results? Do we prefer the pain of shifting strategies or the pain of discovering our team is no longer relevant? Do we risk vulnerability and apologize for mistakes or do we avoid taking blame and risk discrediting ourselves?

When we accept that life is difficult and we will have challenges, we are freed from the search for a mythical problem-free solution. We are free to focus on meaningful decisions.

Then, we can truly begin to lead.

David M. Dye

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David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

Where Are Your Eyes?

Photo by ArkansasShutterbug

This weekend my wife, daughter, and I went for a drive over Colorado's Trail Ridge Road. Located in Rocky Mountain National Park, this road is simply spectacular. Herds of elk grazed the alpine tundra, marmots scurried for cover as we passed, and fields of snow reflected the late July sun. It was a perfect morning to enjoy the scenery.

"I need you to focus."

The road winds for several miles 11,000 feet or more above sea level and there are several stretches where failing to pay attention to the road could have dire consequences. My wife spoke these words as my attention wandered to a herd of elk with several magnificent bucks, their antlers still covered in velvet. As my eyes turned toward the elk, so did the steering wheel...

As leaders, it is easy to forget that our energy, time, and teams, will ultimately be claimed by what has our attention. If more than a day or two goes by where we are not consciously reflecting or thinking about what we are doing, we can easily lose site of what is most important for us and for our teams.

Two of the most common distractions include:

1. Focusing on problems, not on solutions. We cannot find what we are not looking for. Focus on solutions!

2. Focusing on the past (what went wrong), not the present or future (what can go right). The past is useful for teaching us and can inform our future, but vision and positive change can only take place now and in the future. Focus on what the team does next!

Where are your eyes?

Take care,

David M. Dye

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David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

Book Review: The Effective Executive

This week's book review is a classic: management guru Peter Drucker's The Effective Executive.

Don't be put off by the title - as Drucker makes very clear early in the work, his definition of "executive" includes almost anyone with management responsibilities in a knowledge work environment. This work is a distillation of some of the most important messages Drucker has to offer managers. For anyone unfamiliar with Peter Drucker's work, The Effective Executive is an excellent introduction.

The book succinctly summarizes the greatest challenges managers face - often things we are vaguely aware of, but haven't put a name to. Just knowing and being aware of these obstacles to effectiveness is valuable as they can quickly become a whirlpool of activity without any purpose.

Drucker provides a great selection of practical guidance on where effective managers put their energy and time, how they interact with people at every level of the organization, and how they perform their critical responsibilities. In fact, there are so many valuable bits of advice that it is impossible to incorporate all of them after one reading. This is a book that growing leaders and managers can return to at least once a year (if not more often). This is the book equivalent of spending the weekend with a wise and experienced grandparent.

For the price of a paperback, I highly recommend The Effective Executive to any knowledge worker, manager, or leader wanting to acquire practical wisdom on becoming more effective. This one will become a reference you return to time and again.

Happy Reading!

David M. Dye

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David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

Death to the Colorblind?

Photo by Duncan Harris

In my office there is a sticker given to me by my sister. The sticker is a red-green color blindness test: a field of green dots interspersed with orange and red dots.

Apparently, the orange and red dots spell out "Death to the colorblind."

I say "apparently" because I am unable to read the words, despite having been told repeatedly what they say. I have a form of red-green colorblindness and so cannot see these words in the same way that normal-sighted people see them.

I keep this sticker in my office as a constant reminder that not everyone sees the world the way I do. People are an amazing mix of personality types, heritage, experiences, values, and so on. Even my deepest convictions might not be shared by someone who sees the world through a different history and a different pair of eyes.

Leaders do well to remember the diversity of perspectives in the teams they lead and to ensure those voices are incorporated into decision-making. This doesn't mean always trying to satisfy every opinion. It does mean remaining humble enough to know that there is always something we don't know.

Thanks, sis.

David M. Dye

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Twitter: @davidmdye
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David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

What's the Difference?

In response to some of last week's posts I was asked about my view on the difference between management and leadership.

There are a variety of opinions on the subject, but I will start with an observation: some leaders I have known dislike management. They share a feeling that managing is stale, bogged down in routine, and isn't concerned about the future. In general they feel like management doesn't help change the world.

I contend that what these leaders dislike is poor management. Just as poor leadership can produce bad results, so can poor management. So let's focus on good leadership and good management - how are these related?

Generally speaking, leadership is concerned with envisioning the future, building a team, motivating, developing people, and finding solutions to the problems of the day. When people talk of good management, generally speaking, they are talking about producing results through a team, getting things done, and ensuring resources are used effectively.

When I look at those lists, however, one question jumps out at me: Won't good managers also practice leadership skills? Teams are more effective if they share a common vision, are motivated, are growing as people, and are doing meaningful work.

I contend that the most effective managers also practice leadership. I also believe that effective leaders either practice some management or else bring in other people to ensure that management is taking place (those castles in the air need foundations beneath them!)

If leadership is on one end of a continuum and management on the other, there is a wide area in the middle where the two overlap.

How do you balance leading and managing?

David M. Dye

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David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

Book Review: The Leadership Challenge

Today's book review is The Leadership Challenge written by James Kousez and Barry Posner.

I have owned several copies of this book and continually lend it out. Sometimes those loaners are returned, though often they are not - and I can't blame the person for hanging on to it. The Leadership Challenge is a standard of leadership develop texts and is a worthwhile read for anyone wanting to grow in leadership. It is used by many companies and organizations (including my own) and with good reason.

The authors' approach to leadership is not complicated. Leadership is influence. Effective leadership relies on the leader's credibility. Alone, these concepts are not new. What sets The Leadership Challenge apart is its focus on five leadership practices through which we grow our influence and credibility. These practices are easily grasped and can be learned by anyone. They are explained with ample real world examples. These are not abstract theories - the five leadership behaviors described are accessible, practical, and can be implemented by those serious about increasing their influence.

It is also important to note that these practices center around authenticity. This is not a road map for shortcuts to power. This is a set of practical real-world behaviors that help us invest in ourself and in others. Learning the practices takes a day or two. Mastering them and incorporating them into our everyday behavior is the work of a lifetime.

Kousez and Posner have expanded the Leadership Challenge library to include a version students, a faith-based version, a workbook, and books specific to some of the practices. These are good resources as well for those who want to learn more. However, The Leadership Challenge is the place to begin and one of my strongest recommendations for anyone wanting to grow as a leader.

Happy Reading!

David M. Dye

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Twitter: @davidmdye
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David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

Castles In The Air

Photo by Jeannie Fletcher

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."  -Henry David Thoreau

This quote reminds me of the relationship between leadership and management. Leadership speaks of the castle in the air - the vision of a better tomorrow, the inspiration that keeps us going. Management is the foundation that supports those dreams and makes them real. We need both!

What are your castles? How do you build foundations beneath them?

David M. Dye

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David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

Four Practices of Effective Managers

Photo by ntr23

At its most basic, management involves a few set of practices that are deceptively simple. As the old saying goes: it's not hard, it's just hard work. When we struggle as managers, it is often because we have failed to do one of the following:

1. Set clear expectations.

Most often when I observe managers (including myself!) experiencing difficulties, it is because we have not established clear expectations. Expectations come from many sources: the team itself, the manager, the organization. Regardless, if they are not clear, they will not be met.

2. Train and equip.

After clear expectations, the next pitfall is in assuming that everyone has the knowledge or skills to meet those expectations. Ensure your team members are set up for success!

3. Reinforce expectations.

Most of us are flooded with information. Think about how easily you get distracted. We all need reminders from time to time about where we're going and why we're going there.

4. Celebrate and practice accountability.

Accountability doesn't only mean discipline - real accountability celebrates our accomplishments and gives us course corrections as needed. We can easily demotivate our teams by failing to acknowledge success or by not holding everyone accountable.

Whenever I find myself challenged with a management issue, I first look to these four steps for a solution.

*Bonus Practice: #5. Get out of the way.

If you have a team of motivated people and are consistently practicing the first four steps, it's time to get out of their way and watch what they accomplish!

David M. Dye

If you know someone who would benefit from this post or the entire blog, please retweet, like, share, +1, or email it on. Thanks!

Subscribe today or join the discussion at: http://davidmdye.blogspot.com/

Twitter: @davidmdye
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****
David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

Who Am I To Dream?

Vision.

For emerging leaders the word can cause paralysis. The world seems filled with stories of great leaders with unshakable dreams that inspired them and the people around them. For newer leaders who are finding their voice, these powerful leadership stories may cause doubt- who am I compared to them? What are my dreams against theirs?

And yet, change always starts with vision. An idea...a dream...a picture of a world different than it is today. Don't allow the size of others' dreams to diminish the value of yours.

Effective leaders take time to find their own voice. Leaders pay attention and are present with themselves and with the people around them. They listen to what their heart is telling them about their world today and about what it might be tomorrow. Vision grows from awareness.

Awareness doesn't have to be huge - it might extend as far as your family, your team...or perhaps your city. Too big? Imagine what would happen if one leader with a positive dream emerged on every city block and brought together a team of people to care about that small plot of land and people? Cities, nations, the entire world would be transformed by the power of these "small" dreams!

Finding your voice and discovering your dreams about tomorrow is the beginning of vision. The next step in the journey is share it with others...

What is your dream?

David M. Dye

Subscribe today or join the discussion at: http://davidmdye.blogspot.com/
Twitter: @davidmdye
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David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

Book Review: Mandela's Way

Today's book review is Mandela's Way: Fifteen Lessons on Life, Love, and Courage written by Richard Stengel

In his introductory remarks, Stengel refers to Nelson Mandela as possibly the "last pure hero on the planet". Despite the laudatory remarks, one of the best things about this book is the it takes a realistic look at such a hero. There is no doubt that Mandela is an amazing human being who has helped his country and the world as a whole. Even so, Stengel does not shy away from showing Nelson's humanity. The hero of this book is not a picture perfect cutout, but a human being who has suffered and learned so much - yet remains human in ways every reader can relate to.

For those who are beginning their leadership journey this book is an encouraging read. Nelson's leadership strengths are described in ways that make them accessible to newer leaders, but the depth of suffering and pain that forged the leader he became is also clear. Nelson's journey is relevant to everyone who wants to make the world a better place, even if the reader will not spend thirty years in prison for her ideals.

In his own preface to the book, Mandela talks of ubuntu, the African notion that "we are human only through the humanity of others." This profound humility is much of what makes Mandela an effective leader and also Mandela's Way a strongly suggested read for aspiring leaders.

Happy reading!

David M. Dye

Subscribe today or join the discussion at: http://davidmdye.blogspot.com/
Twitter: @davidmdye
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David shares twenty years experience teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in youth service, education advocacy, city governance, and faith-based nonprofits. He currently serves as Chief Operating Officer for Colorado UpLift and enjoys helping others discover and realize their own potential.

What Did I Know?

One of my favorite lines of poetry is from Robert Hayden's Those Winter Sundays. "What did I know, what did I know / of love's austere and lonely offices?" These lines tell us of a grown child who only now realizes his own ingratitude toward his father's sacrifice and love.

Recently, I was reminded of these lines by a woman who holds a position of leadership, but is still developing her influence. She was frustrated and wanted to give up because she did not feel appreciated by her team or the clients they serve.

Real leadership involves doing the right thing, supporting and serving your team, and holding on to your belief in the future even when no one else does. At times, leadership is lonely. To have a positive vision of the future, to work towards it, to serve and empower others, to tap into their visions as well - these things often take place "off stage" and can leave you feeling misunderstood.

When we struggle with feeling misunderstood or unappreciated, it is important to remember why we are doing the work in the first place. Is it for public praise? Or is it because we yearn to make a better world?

The best leaders I've ever met give the praise to their team and then get back to the often quiet, thankless work of changing the world.

David M. Dye

Blog: http://davidmdye.blogspot.com/
Twitter: @davidmdye
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/david-dye/b/a08/82

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog: David M. Dye!

This blog focuses on leadership and management through the lens of nonprofit experience. I primarily focus on ideas and discussions for emerging leaders and managers, though we all can use a good reminder from time to time no matter how much leadership or management experience we have. If you are in the for-profit or public sector, hang in there. I think you will find these principles transferable to any environment. Finally, I will review a variety of leadership, management, and productivity books (old and new) to help emerging leaders sort through the avalanche of available professional development resources.

A little about me - I've spent twenty years teaching, coaching, leading, and managing in the nonprofit sector. I have served in youth service, education advocacy, city planning, and faith-based nonprofits as well as held elected municipal office. My passion is to help others discover and realize their own potential. I sincerely hope this blog will help you to impact the world.

Please comment, question, criticize, and provide alternate perspectives...all of us are smarter than one of us.

Welcome, and thanks in advance for contributing your voice and being part of the journey!

David M. Dye

Twitter: @davidmdye
Blog: http://davidmdye.blogspot.com/
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/david-dye/b/a08/82